Supporting his wife, Lisa, as her health declined and she underwent a second transplant has been an emotional experience for Justin, especially the stigma she experienced from strangers when she was jaundiced. In recognition of her strength and stoicism Justin nominated Lisa for Lorraine’s Woman of the Year award. Thank you for sharing your story, Justin
There was always a chance that Lisa’s primary biliary cholangitis would recur, but her consultant said they wouldn’t expect to see anything for at least five years. So it was a shock when Lisa’s health began declining rapidly just a year post-transplant and we were told she was likely to need another transplant. Without being too melodramatic, I thought: “Is she going to make it?”
Lisa felt a lot of guilt because the amazing gift she’d been given by her donor and their family was failing for reasons she couldn’t control and we were worried a clinician could decide she was too much of a risk for a second transplant. When we were suddenly told in November 2024 that she would be listed, I thought: “Oh, wow!” but it can sometimes take a number of years to be lucky enough to get another donor, did we have that time? But at 5am on Christmas Day the phone rang and Lisa said: “Oh my god, it’s Kings!” and we were on our way to London.
The surgeons had said there could be more complications with a second transplant because of the scar tissue and the close proximity to the previous one. I’m rarely pessimistic, but there’s always that dark little shadow in your soul that thinks something could go wrong. Lisa and I had to have conversations about what to do if the worst happened twice within a couple of years. It’s pretty brutal. 
Pacing around and just waiting while Lisa was operated on was emotionally exhausting. While I was obviously keeping in touch with family I just wanted to be on my own, but Lisa has so many people invested in her story and they all wanted to know how she was getting on. While the level of support was amazing, answering messages left, right and centre was draining.
Strong and positive
As a carer I had thought things would be easier second time around, but it was more of a struggle emotionally because I knew what Lisa was going through and the complications that could arise. However, she is so incredibly strong, positive and proactive even when things go wrong as they often do, so if I was anything but strong too, it would be kind of defeatist.
For the first six or seven weeks after the transplant Lisa had an ongoing infection which prevented her liver from kicking in properly, but then all of a sudden it started working and she’s been very stable for weeks now. However, because she’s been on extremely strong medication for five years, she’s at stage one of acute kidney injury. It’s being monitored and we hope it stays at that stage – otherwise we could be looking at kidney failure and transplantation. Lisa knows there’s a chance of that, but we’ll face that if it comes and with the same strength and stoicism that she has faced everything else.
Lisa has become so knowledgeable about liver conditions and all she’s done since her diagnosis is help others. She’s made so many connections across the world and her blog on what to take to hospital has resulted in people with autism and anxiety messaging her to say how helpful it’s been. It’s cathartic thing for her and helps her feel she’s not just sitting there waiting to see how she is week on week.
Lisa was incredibly jaundiced before the second liver transplant and people would stare at her and take their phones out to take a photo. Seeing that side of the human race was very depressing.
There’s still a lot of stigma and we’re grateful to the British Liver Trust for their work in educating people. Lisa was incredibly jaundiced before the second transplant and people would stare at her and take their phones out to take a photo. Seeing that side of the human race was very depressing. Most of the time I chose to ignore it but sometimes it got so obvious that I would look them in the eye as if to say: “Come on, think about this!” 
Often when I was at work, I would turn myself inside out wondering whether Lisa was experiencing that with no support and towards the latter stages she avoided going out in public altogether because she got so many stares. Out of the whole journey they were probably the most difficult times. Seeing that directed at someone you love is cruel and upsetting, especially when you know what they are going through.
It’s not necessarily because people have made bad choices, they’re just not educated. I’m sure some of the kids who took the photos shared them with their friends and I hope somewhere along the line someone said to them: “My auntie has a disease and that’s why that person is that colour”. Educate yourself rather than judge.
We’re both grateful to the British Liver Trust for everything they do, not just for us but for everybody with different liver conditions and all their varying degrees of negative and positive outcomes. We were therefore humbled when the organisation asked us to become their ambassadors. It’s given us an official way to get the word out about early diagnosis, Love your Liver and connecting more people to the donor register. If you or a loved one are diagnosed with a liver condition, I would always advocate for the British Liver Trust. The information and support on their website is truly remarkable, including the Living With pages, events and publications. We invested heavily in them when we were educating ourselves on Lisa’s condition. There are also many people like Lisa who give up their time to tell their stories and I think people can find a lot of solace in seeing where they are physically and emotionally afterwards.
Support from family and friends
Because Lisa has been through so much, I decided to nominate her for Lorraine’s Woman of the Year in 2023. While Lisa knew I’d nominated her, she didn’t know she was in the top three, so when we were invited to the studio to meet Lorraine, I told her I’d won a tour of TV studios in a competition. During that ‘tour’ Lisa ended up on the set and was interviewed by Lorraine! It was a bit of a fairy-tale moment and I was blown away when the public voted for Lisa and she won the title. 
Even though we have a lot of support from family and friends, it’s still been a difficult year. I also lost my mother and stepfather within seven months of each other, so you think, crikey, what’s next? But you either fold or you fight and Lisa and I always try to stay as positive as we can.
As a carer being present and educating myself on everything Lisa’s having to do, like what drugs she’s on, what levels they are is very important. It would be very easy for me to let her deal with it all, but being there for her has also helped me. We’re in a great place now and long may that continue. Lisa will be gradually phasing back into her job which she absolutely loves – and we’ll just keep plugging away.
Women are totally the stronger sex, I’ve no doubt that that’s the case and Lisa’s extremely strong. That’s why I’m able to cope so well.
